CHARMAINE THENG IS ON EARTH.
Just another WordPress.com weblogArchive for February, 2010
i’m so sorry, happy.
you might have only been with me for 7months. but to me, it seems like a long ime already, and i feel like i have this bond with you. i really really love you so much so much. you wait for me outside the shower every single night without fail, and i wake up to find you sleeping outside my room every morning. do you know how happy and touched that can be? in this world, nobody cares about each other. well, at least this care and concern doesn’t happen between humans. nobody waits for me until i come home, nobody waits for me outside the shower, and nobody listens carefully to what i play on the piano. i’m really sorry, i cannot keep you for your entire life. seeing you sleep beside me right now, peacefully, i really have the urge to argue with the devil and make you stay with me. but i know i can’t win her. she’s going to drain me all out. you are the only one who’s happy to see me back home, happy with the little time i spend with you, not blaming me for anything. i’m really sorry for haing brought this upon you. you deserve a much much better owner. i am definitely the worst owner around, worst. i am so so so sorrry, i really love you alot and cannot bear for you to leave me. i really am sorry. i will always miss the days i saw you walking around having nothing to do, and then you decide to stay right beside me and accompany me in everything that i do. i will always remember the times where you didn’t blame me for locking you inside the cage just because mummy wants to. and, i’m soooo sorry for depriving you of your daily walks, cooping you up at home and scolding you for the slightest reasons. i am really sorry, i will love you forevermore. please, stay happy with your new owner alrights…
daily thoughts.
i look at you, you look at me.
we don’t say anything, but we both know what’s going on in each other’s minds. the silence becomes deafening. and suddenly, we all just cry. this is becoming so often these days because of o levels. how hard it’s coming down on us. so scary and heavy, and it’s just so… threatening and intimidating. sometimes, i wish i could just run away from everything in life.
seriously, i don’t know what to do without marilyn. can you imagine life without her? like seriously, recess would be left with me and sebrina, nothing much left to talk about. it would be so weird. what can we say? also, no marilyn, no one to acc me after school. no one to share my problems with, no one to stay with me, wait with me, go recess with me and nobody to care for me. i mean, seriously, look at the rest of unglams. everyone is just so busy about their own lives. celeste, lunching with her classmates every single day it becomes so hard to just eat with her after school. laura, i guess i don’t need to state the reason anymore. sebrina, it’s just….. nothing much we can share about. i’m already stressed up. how am i going to live on with daddy and marilyn gone? both of them leaving me, no daddy means more mummy. it sucks, seriously. all the pressure building up in me during my o’s. threatening me with my happy. i hate it. seriously, i can do without such a mother.
laura says: we cannot cry on the day we’re sending marilyn off. oh, well, easy for you to say huh. easy for all of you to say, but not me, definitely. oh,fish.
how i wish three wishes could be given to me right now:
daddy stays,
marilyn stays,
and mummy change.
is it so hard? 
STUDY GROUPS.
hello, just wanna invite everyone to study grouping at my house every sunday or saturday. it will be from about 1p.m to 8p.m. it is to prevent mummy hurting happy and to prevent mummy nagging and to allow me to study/do my work. people who come must be people who are willing to study and not play. bring only work and nothing else. also, must be disciplined enough not to play with happy and study together. let’s chiong together for olevels!!!! reply me asap. at 83222854. just message. please, 
sigh.
studying now at e-hub with sandyy. doubt i’m really concentrating because of a stupid fight i had with my mother. she cancelled scv, and maybe, my phone line. i freaking hate her. hate her to the max sia. so freaking irritating. sosososo irritating. so irritating. disline her, hate her to the core. hate her so much man. don’t know why daddy just doesn’t want to divorce her. don’t like her sia……. sadded. comfort me please.
another matter: a desire to win can kill. is winning that important? what if you win and you don’t get anything in return? what’s the point then? don’t you agree? isn’t it pointless to keep wanting to win even when you know you’re going to make everyone unhappy about it. please, stop having that desire. it’s good, but relax. you’re only 16, my dear….
ohh my gawd. LOLS//
i’ve been found out. lols. guess it was a good thing after all. but however, there’s some other worser things going on in my fishing life. my best friend’s leaving.. marilyn’s leaving.. it’s really painful you know, seriously. the four years of friendship, the days we spent meeting each other every single day of weeks, and bringing her to church, seeing her change. knowing the news was like opening the flesh of my heart. then i remembered a compo i wrote about before, ‘saying goodbye’. no doubt it would be a good thing for her maybe, to start a new life afresh. however, it still does hurt. kind of pain, definitely i will miss her alot. muchmuch more than anybody else. she’s the closest to me, and it’s really hard. her no-temper temper, her wonderfulness as a friend, understanding my problems, listening to me, everything a true friend would. i’d miss her crazy. i love you, mar.
‘ll miss you till i die.
